Manic Monday

The work on the custom order is going great! About 3/4 to 4/5 of the way done. Moving swimming. Other things not so smooth. Work was rough. Physically and emotionally. I think a little bit of retail therapy may be in order. Mainly starting to get the pieces for my modular desk/workspace for at the studio and for my farmer's market booth.  New mod starts this month. I learn a brand new program: Adobe Illustrator. Exciting. Ok. I'm a little intimidated. More than a little. I'm not an illustrator. I don't draw. I craft and I write. So this feels very daunting. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm kinda shaky today... probably caffeine overload from yesterday. Had one too many... maybe not enough? I'm done thinking at the moment.

News and more

Playing with photoshop... I'm really liking what it can do.
Anyway. I have a business partner. We are really going to do this. I've been doing research on local craft fairs... I'm even thinking of expanding into the states around us. But the actually attendance of those ones will be for upcoming years.  We both love yarn and crafting in general.. we just have different aesthetics. Roughly our business is under one name with different lines. Which compliments the individuality and joint interest we have. There are few things that we will happily work on together, or both make. Although I am not used to how vocal she is and her willingness to share with everyone our progress. I'm pretty quiet about everything... except for on here and other web sources. Maybe that'll just be our niches. Her the verbal, vocal talk to everyone aspect, and me the online venue. You never know.  I've already got a blog up for it (click here). I think we plan on registering the name very shortly. I need to call the tax commission.. tomorrow or Friday.
In other news, My birthday is Friday. I'll be 26 and all my plans fell thru. I'm not why I'm surprised. Happens pretty much every year, but I digress.
I am working a project that I had set aside back in December. My goal is to finish it and then move on to some new projects and expanding my line. My immediate needs are the different yarns for those products, a mouse, a USB extender, a printer (inkjet that can handle different kinds of paper), and a slew of adhesives. I have to list these this for my sake. Helps those mental notes. I'm also learning more about my sense of humor and teaching. But that's for a different blog. Ok, got to finish somethings on Etsy and then go to bed.

Addiction

I am truly addicted to performing. It is my greatest high. I love all creativity, but being on stage dancing is unlike anything else on earth. Which is good, because I'm going to be doing it a lot in the next while. Adult Dance and Fitness has moved to a brand new building on Washington Boulevard in Ogden. It's got a great exterior: blue black and silver in an art deco style. It's prompted a name change. They are now Studio Blue, but the name change won't be official on paper work till 2011. They now have 2 pole rooms, the main dance floor, a tanning bed, and a small fitness room (think treadmill, stationary bike, and elliptical). I love it. And they have expanded the retail shop as well.

Not me, Becca the Amazing... I'd like it to be me though.

In part to gain business there will be aerial shows on the street from 1pm to 2pm on Saturdays. Unless there is a parade or other event, then we will do shows before and after for sidewalk traffic. Considering the upcoming weather.... I'm nervous about the cold. I was nervous about forgetting how to do things, but it came back to me rather quickly. Also, Taboo Burlesque will have a show on December 12th. I let you know the details as they come.

And the story for today is

I don't really know if there is much to tell. I am busy this week. I've had 3 dance practices this week so far, a rehearsal today at 6, with show scheduled for 10pm or 11pm. I'm bartending at a banquet dinner Saturday. And I don't know whether or not there is another practice on Sunday, since we now have 2 shows set for December at the new studio location. Oh, and I need to squeeze in homework that's due Monday. At the moment though I'm sitting at Great Harvest Breads sipping mocha coffee on 25th St with my daughter wandering around in her pumpkin costume. There is random music playing that I've never heard of. I'm sitting at a table shaped like a peach half with high backed wood chairs. It's kind of chilly in here actually. Probably a reflection of the declining temperature outside. I should get going soon, but I don't think I want to yet.

I'm hoping to get some photos posted up here soon, but I need to get a new USB port or burn the photos onto a CD before I can upload them.... maybe get a data port? I know I need a new mouse.  My Mac doesn't have a slot for a compact flash card.

If goes as planned..

I will have my new laptop tomorrow. Thrilling! Then I won't be as dependant on other people's computers. Printing will be the only thing that I'll have to rely on others for.
In other news, apparently Taboo is back together. Even though I wasn't sure we even officially disbanded, life just got in the way. There are a few last minute practices before we're doing a show on Friday. I foundout about this Sunday. Talk about short notice. I'm not complaining just a little overwhelmed.
In yarn news, I've picked out my next review yarn. I've been working with it a little bit at a time during the week. At currently I have 2 crohcet projects, 1 knitted, and 1 on my knitting loom. I'm quite happy with this as I'm making decnt progress on all of them in betweenn homework, house work, and work. There are some changes at work now. I'm not cocktailing, instead I'm learning to bartend at banquets at the hotel that the bar(s) are in. Which is fine with me, bartenders tend to make more money anyway. That's the update thus far.

To add to it..

Like I don't have enough hair-brained ideas... I'm starting another blog.. but this one is an ongoing fictional 'novel' like thing. I got the idea from me not ever being brave enough to submit anything to a publisher, but a blog is a way to absolute affordable publish yourself. So that's what I'm doing. 25thststudio.wordpress.com. I haven't started the 'novel' yet.. ran out of time on the computer, but check back often.

In other news, Taboo had it's first show last night. It was a little rough, but that's ok. I wasn't expecting perfection. I left right after the show, no after parties for me. Not my scene.... especially when I don't really know anyone but for the girls in the group and I'm not a social person unless I have to be.

Daring to dream

I'm not greedy, I just want to do everything. I want to own my own businesses... that's right plural. I love variety, and get bored very easily. I'll tell you more as I get them going.....

Tonight is....

Nothing really extraordinary. I've been on a Harry Potter kick... my husband went to see the new one without me.... highly annoyed. Not only because we've gone to see them together since we've been together, but because well.... I miss going out on dates with him. Yes we're married, and happily, but that doesn't mean I don't still want to feel special. I'm not asking for champagne and a bed of rose petals (it'd be nice though) but simple 'romantic' things would be great every once in a while..
On another note, I finished the first baby blanket I've made in over a year. Looks great, I've also started another one. Hopefully I'll get it listed on my new etsy store soon, cause it's empty right now.

Next... I'm thinking about sucking it up and working at the Lighthouse for a little while... if they are willing to work with me. I'm not thrilled about the idea, cause I really want to go down the SLC to work, but the... uh, lack of running vehicle is a major setback. So we shall see.

Bright note: I'm teaching an 'exotic dance' workshop tomorrow. I'm really excited for it and very curious to see how this will all pan out.... maybe some sort of opportunity will come from this.
Second bright note: Taboo is putting on a show at Adult Dance and Fitness on August 14th. Somehow I ended up with 2 solos... that makes me a little nervous.

Where do I go from here?

I've been asking myself this a lot lately. How do I make a living from my hodgepodge loves? I don't do well in any normal 'job'. I want to write more.... but I can't even really formulate the words to say what it is that I'm feeling. I need time to think, but can I afford it? I'm up in Boise again this weekend... leave tomorrow morning-ish.

Ramblings

When did I post last? I don't even know. A few things have changed. I no longer work at Club Wet, and I'm going to Boise to work tomorrow. I actually may end up dancing there more often. It's a drive, but I like the energy up there, plus the place I want to work at down here has crazy scheduling demands that would seriously conflict with what I have going on (or not).

I am part of a brand new Burlesque/Dance group called Taboo. weare based out of Adult Dance and Fitness. I'm so very thrilled by how much we already have done, and what we are working on, but we are looking for fund raising ideas. And other help.

I've started a new store on etsy.... handmadebyrouge.etsy.com it's not stocked yet (go figure), but I also haven't finished everything with it.

Taboo

If I didn't do enough stuff, I am now a proud and very excited member of Taboo, a Burlesque/Dance Group that has not only singers and dancers, but Pole and Aerial Silk... I love it... really you have no idea how thrilled I am!

Where have I been?

I'm asking this because I'm not quite sure myself. There have been a lot of issues at work, I'm behind in my craft.. although I don't put deadlines on myself... I feel like I haven't accomplished much. Add to that the dwindling faith I have in my 'new' management and a lack of funds... all this leads to me now taking my first out of state trip to work. Am I nervous... you bet, but not for the reasons you may think. I've never been away from both my husband and my daughter. I've been one without the other... but not both. It's scary to leave them.

Why a pole?

I've been think about pole dancing and why it causes such a stir. I believe that if it weren't a pole it'd just be something else. Really think about it...imagine if instead of a pole it were a swing (yes I know some strip clubs have swings), if it were gold standard to have a swing then dancing on or around it would be taboo. Stripping as we currently know it started in the 60s, it's not that old. The reasons behind it... well roads leading to it are ancient. Think about courtesan dancers, saloon girls, burlesque..... dance and sex have always seemed to go together. And men are voyeuristic.
I really believe that the stigma around pole dancing will lift, it'll take time.

Sinking in...

It's starting to sink in that I won something (even if it was only second place).

My friend who owns the pole dance studio and regular dance studio that I go to (Megan Burroughs) was recently interviewed by a local newspaper. She explained that women come into her studio looking for the feeling of sexy. This struck me, probably cause I never asked myself if I was looking for the same thing. The answer.... yes, but not so directly. I look for it in knowing I'm what I am capable of.. physical, mentally, emotionally, not from the direct feeling of being desired. I feel sexy after I get tattooed. I feel it when I'm dancing, because I'm in control. And of course when I mak-out with my husband. It's great to know you're desired... putting lustful thoughts in a man, but I don't live off it. I think people who are facsinated by women in the adult industry because it's so uncommon for women in the 'real' world to be open sexually. Women for centuries have been told that we're not supposed to enjoy sex. Or talk about it. Or that our needs aren't paramount. A woman who is comfortable enough with herself to expose that part of herself is a big deal. I'm not saying that I am free of insecurities (believe I'm not) but I accept myself as a whole.... if not all the parts. Sex is healthy. Wanting it, being comfortable with it, expressing it is OK. That's part of the reason why I can do my job. The other part to that is that I am married. You might wonder, "Why would that help?" Because I'm not seeking approval from men, I have a husband who is man enough to let me be myself. That's powerful, and fulfilling. He doesn't hold me back.. he let's me dream my dreams, talk my big talk, plan my sometimes fantastical plans and smiles all the way... or maybe he's laughing at me.... at any rate, he let's me be. I love him more for it. No one else has ever encouraged me like he has. I hope he knows how much that means to be. I don't think any woman should go into any part of the adult industry if you're uncomfortable or highly insecure with yourself. Confidence is the sexiest thing you can have.

Vindication!

I took 2nd in my division (intermediate) in Utah's First Pole Dance and Fitness Competition. It's vindicating on so many level. I'm glad it's over, believe me. But it's nice to know that I'm not a complete screw-up at something. I feel like I've done something. I know that sounds crazy, but it does feel like something huge. I got to perform... oh god.. I got to be on stage and let the music move me like I've missed so much! After a few seconds I forgot there were judges and thought of nothing but telling the story I hear in a song. Amazing. And to place... mind blowing really. I was soo surprised. I was really thinking I was hearing things. I'll pictures soon... and hopefully a clip of my performance. I feel almost invincible! Ok I'm done for now.

A little of my side

I recently watched an episode of The Tyra show that was about the adult industry. I know that my bar is an exception, not the rule in strip clubs I have this huge desire to tell my side of the story. I'm not quite sure where to start first. Utah laws are very different and so is my personal story. I know a lot of people's opinions about me will change in doing this, but I really don't care. I'm just want to break down some of stereo-typing. Cause I see your face in reaction to the job and see it reflected in so many others. Is this job for every one, no, absolutely not, but neither is being a dentist. What makes me different? I'm happily married and have been since December of 2004. I have never cheated on my husband in the near 4 years I've been dancing, and I won't. I don't do drugs, and I don't even drink enough to be considered a 'social' drinker. I am a mother to a 3 year old girl, whom I get to be home with all day, her dad is with her when I work or on the rare occasion my mom. I am an avid artist and crafter. I crochet, knit, sew, and more. I have modeled and worked as a TV extra. I don't go out partying all night. I live a very quiet life. This is a job, not a lifestyle. Unless you make it one. I speak for myself, but I don't believe I am alone in this. I feel that some if not all the girls I work with would love the chance to tell their side.

I am in Utah's First Pole Dance Competition (www.misspoledanceutah.com). Taking the pole back, since it was originally an acrobatic circus act, until a gentleman's club in the UK put a pole in as a novelty.

Utah laws are different and strict. There are NO lap dances or private rooms in alcohol serving bars. The patrons cannot touch a dancer. It is all stage work, and we are not fully topless. We are to wear pasties and there a minimum size requirement for t-backs, or thong underwear. No touching of the breast with open palms is allowed. Hands must be 3 inches away from the genitals. We have to be licensed, but all that means is that we are legal to operate as a dancer, we are not required to take anything off. It is illegal for us to drink on the job and since January 2009 smoking is prohibited in all Bars and Clubs. These are just some of the rules, I can't name them all. even though I have to be very aware of them.